the people in the events...

Throughout this fall i have grown to appreciate, to be thankful, for the season of life that i am in. It has actually been pretty refreshing to come to a place in life where i can say "Thank you Jesus for this (insert certain thing from my life)" I am even at a place where i can say that i would not change anything that has happened this year (except maybe for a redo in my attitude and perspective department). Why would i want to change ALL that God has been doing in my heart?...

Two days ago was yet another Thanksgiving. Basically another term for a normal hangout, with people i love, with extra food. Of course this is the time to verbalize what we are thankful for. I don't find it hard to be thankful for things. Like trees, Jamba Juice, family. The general.

But... a couple days ago, i found myself struggling to respond to several messages i received on Thanksgiving. The notes i got from some of these friends were so thoughtful, sweet, and super encouraging but i hesitated when writing a response. Why was i not feeling natural to do what i usually love to do? (encourage people) Was it because it was a "forced thankfulness day" and everyone was doing it, so i should too?

Looking back over this last year, i am super thankful for the good AND the hard. 

The good and hard EVENTS

but..not the PEOPLE in the good and hard EVENTS

The EVENTS that have happened this year have involved some major changes, halts, and rollercoaster days. But I don't have any bitterness, anger, or sadness with any of what has been going on in my life.

The PEOPLE who have come in and out of my life this year all have challenged me, have been a constant support, an encouragement and kept me accountable. God has used each person in my life for as a specific opportunity for me to learn and grow more in Him. I have been hurt though (as has everyone), and for some reason, those feelings seep in quite a bit.

This has been yet another year of hard and frustrating redirections with old friendships, new relationships, and a continuation of seasonal friendships. 

As i mentioned before, the messages i received were from people I dearly love, but i was overcome with emotion and, what appeared to be, unresolved issues in my heart. 

What a bizarre thing to recognize in myself! I LOVE people. LOVE them. And yet, what i love the most has often times been one of my hugest struggles.

The PEOPLE in the EVENTS play a pivotal part in this thing we call life. I need to come to a place where i am thankful not only for the things that have happened/not happened in my life, but also for the people who are in the midst of those as well.

I guess i have been picky with thankfulness. I toss around the idea of gratitude and then block out certain aspects of it. What does it really mean to be thankful for everything? everyone? something to work through.