thoughts on a tuesday

what do i see myself as? when i look in the mirror who do i reflect? i know my perspective is screwed up still to put it bluntly. i am the optomist for others but a pessemeist for anything that has to do with myself. instead of walking into everyday asking myself how can i grow and become a better person today? my constant thoughts are how many times will i mess up in the next 5mins it has been said that whatever is on the inside comes out and if i am so consumed by my failures, my actions are twisted and i am not being the best ashlyn i can be. i truly thought i was a confident person, and i am...but only when life is good and i have everything in control. CONTROL and EXPECTATIONS are my two least favorite words. they have been my idols and i am constantly finding myself living with the perspecttive that i EXPECT my plans and CONTROL to work out the way i want. i laugh as i write that because its so selfish and i sit back looking at what others are doing not willing to budge from my stubborn unteachable heart. where did my writing go? my book reading? my time with Jesus? a friend of mine gave me a visual example and it is one of those metaphors control freaks like me would only understand. AM I LETTING MY WORLD SPIN? the world is my perspective. i tend to focus on one continent at one time and get so consumed by it. if step back and let go of control the world would start spinning again and i would then get a bigger picture and the stress i had from tying to hold onto the world would no longer be there.where does my confidence lie? huh thats a good question. God give me the strength to live out the perspective i have been learning about and fill me with love. i have been learning so much but not letting myself grow because it hasn't been easy.

My song

i am a music person- well im not obsessed and have posters covering my wall but it is rare for me not to be listning to music. the other day a song came on the radio and it was the first time i actually listened to the lyrics. it is my song.


"Set The World On Fire"- Britt Nicole

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

[CHORUS]

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do

I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYompTPEoXg