a new meaning..

so as im reading 111 pages in my theology book- something new popped out. I always seem to think of Bible stories as applicable lessons from everyday men who were sinners like me....but for some reason those men and writers of the Bible never seemed like real.

Moses-political leader
Joshua-military leader
David-shepherd
Solomon-king
Amos-herdsman and grower of sycamore figs
Daniel-Prime minister
Matthew-tax collector
Luke-medical doctor
Paul-rabbi
Peter-fisherman

are just some....but look at the diversity of their vocations. We get perspective from all around. And these men wrote from actual continents....like Asia, Africa, and Europe!!! Jeremiah wrote from Egypt in Africa...Africa....like I went to Kenya....like that Africa and John wrote as a banished person on the island of Patmos and Paul wrote FIVE books in prison. Holy Moly!

Im just super stoked!

what is going on?

God what are you doing? really? like you know me...you know i can make a simple matter super complicated by just thinking about it. what are you trying to teach me? you know when i struggle i push people away. you know when i mess up i dont want to stand up and try again. you know i walk in my own strength and end up getting sick from stress. obviously you are trying to show me that you are enough and the only way im learning is the hard way. why am i so stubborn? if i know the answer to these questions why do i continue to walk in the flesh?

guarding my heart- guess i didn't know

i keep getting hurt. and its on me. i sit back looking at other girls who don't guard their heart and end up getting hurt by a boy. i chuckle thinking they could be smarter and yet here i am in the midst of the same thing but just in a different context. the danger about becoming friends with a guy is the possibility of you or the guy getting lead on by accident. its inevitable that one or both will start having feelings for each other. guys and girls are not meant to be good friends without the end result being marriage. God placed attraction in all of us. i have grown up being friends with a lot of boys and the way i work is to build deep relationships. deep relationship are great- but only with girls and if im planning on marrying that boy. deep relationships with boys that are just friends start a string of mistakes. emotional attachments. man those are super dangerous. i figured if i cut out the physical part of a relationships i would be fine but i now see that i lean on the emotional side of things and get so wrapped up i walk away hurt. within high school there have been a total of 8 boys that i became practically best friends with and the cycle i seemed to go on was -hang out a ton (mostly in a large group), text, talk, live life together you know, and then i start to see after a while an attraction. now i have never fallen for these boys because of looks (like they were cute) but because i was friends with them first i fell for who they were.in the end they usually didn't see me like that, there were red flags on dating them or because of their actions they accidentally lead me on because of my emotions. ashlyn why did it take so long to figure out you have a major heartbreak issue going on? i feel like everyone has a childhood sweetheart and whether or not a friendship continues there will always be that special spot in your heart for them. i had one of those. and subconsciously any words he said i held onto and any kind action he showed me i took as more than friends. was there ever a conversation about it? no. i have been told numerous times not to assume the boy likes you (even is EVERYONE is telling you so) unless it comes from his mouth. im seeing i assume and now because im an extremist, all i want to do now is completely block guys out of my life. its my fault this happens and i know nothing else...

hume kid 101

this morning i skyped with a dear friend and a very interesting topic came up that really got me thinking. i don't think people have any idea what former hume kids go through in life after leaving their beloved bubble in the mountains. when people take a look at the bunch of us who have moved away, they would see great family atmospheres, maturity in not only interacting with other people but he depth of understand of Jesus. the battles hume kids face is very unique and hard to explain to the average person. its one of those "you have to live it to fully understand" missionary kids from kenya would relate more to us than a good friend who goes to church with me. what is it we face daily? as i skyped with my friend, i began to see that we ALL face (faced) the same feelings, situations, and reactions. and the sad thing is, is that there is nothing anyone can say or do that will get us out of the struggles we face (is a personal struggle with God alone).

im blogging this in hopes it gives a glimpse into the life of a blessed and yet misunderstood Christian life we live.

Living at a Christian Camp for most of my life provided such a dream childhood and i would not change it for the world. Forest was all around, we had all seasons of weather, it was safe, nothing too bad happened, afternoons were spent hanging out on one of the many rocks and fields just talking about life. Everyone's house was home to another. We were blessed with huge imaginations and would come up with the best stories to act out outside for hours on end. We were given the opportunity to start working at 11 and from that our work ethic was strong for a young kid. We were around ministry daily and got to see changed lives and our parents serving the Lord. We got to go to camp every year. Hume was a Disneyland we never had to leave. I became a Christian on my own when i was 10 at summer camp. Hume gave me a strong foundation of who i was and gave me a confidence i thought everyone down in the valley had. Jump ahead to freshman year in high school. i moved.

My world shook and before i knew it i was in states of depression. i hated life. i wanted to be done with christianity. did i hate Jesus? no way jose. how did i go form the "perfect" life and being happy to moving into a big house and new friends and become so desperate to get out? i wasnt missing out on a relationship in my life. so what was i missing? here is the sucky thing about growing up at hume. from day one we were taught Jesus inside and out. we had a ton of knowledge but we never had to apply it. when i moved, there were overwhelming circumstances that caused me to fall on the ground in a frantic state.

did you know that we feel so alone? so isolated? so unrelatable?

disneyland..its not a love..its an obsession

For those who know me well- beach boys, pineapple dole whips, tiki room, fast passes, fireworks- is my heaven. This would be, my dear friends, Disneyland. Want to win my heart- take me there. Want me to love you forever- take me there and do all my dland traditions with me!


Traditions:

I have, have to get a Pineapple dole whip and eat it while enjoying the tiki room show (the show is for 5yr olds but i just love it!)



Go on Splash Mountain at least 2 times


Go on the jungle cruise to hear the cheesy jokes (the girls are never funny)



-If I see Cruella DeVil take a picture (she scares me in the movie- but i LOVE talking to her in real life!)

-Watch the Aladdin Show

dancing my heart away

I was able to go to several dances and every one of them were all so different and such a blast! This was def on my "list before i die" but...i never got asked to a dance, so i am officially adding it to my list. i hope to be asked to a dance before my wedding night...but i will survive if i have to waits haha.


Sadies-Sophomore Year- I got the privilege of going with a dear friend to me, Timothy Souza (Timmy). We went with a group whom I knew no one at but it was a blast! We were the best dressed there. Theme: Night In the Big City :we chose Hawaiian tourist.



First formal! Junior Year. Hume put on a formal for Hume kids and Calen Plouffe asked me to go with him. It was one of my favorite nights of the year.



First prom! Junior Year. Theme: Cinderella Story. Went with Calen Plouffe again. Our group consisted of several foreign exchange students and two other couples. The night ended with a Pancake Bar! First time I actually slow danced with real dance moves taught to Calen by Rich Baker.



BEST DANCE AWARD GOES TO: Winter Formal- Senior Year. Theme: A night at the Oscars. I had the best dance partner ever! Our group was pretty much fantastic. Our limo for the night was an old fire truck. We got dance lessons from amazing dancers. Dinner was fantastic. The night ended with Minute to win it games- boys vs girls. What a night to remember. This is where new friendships were established and old ones strengthened so much-all because of a high school dance.


WSM Barn Dance

One of my favorite WSM events planned!!

Hume dance fun. Summer 2010


Dance lessons taught by Christie Alvarado. Because my dad was not at Hume, Calen was again my dance partner. Square dancing was so much fun!



Hoe Down Dance- Location: Ark. This was one of my favorite memories at Hume that summer. Calen and I ended up dancing for the night with several other fun dance partners. Go square dancing!

college...am i there yet?

it is now week 3. week 3! crazy how time has flown. there have been a bunch of fun things that have gone on while at the same time never have i been so overwhelmed with life. i am seriously struggling big time. do i like fresno? YES I LOVE IT and YES IM FINE STAYING HERE. don't get me wrong fresno is great! but as i sit back and watch friends go to college, move out of the house and enjoy dorm life, i am here at home. what is God doing in me? let me tell you. a lot so far. More than i am comfortable with honestly. So far i have been learning that i need to study...like really study and not just do it for school but to actually learn and soak up new things. Tomorrow i start work....bath and body works baby. im nervous. why? well my life has been food service galore and now im moving into a completely new job. i hope that i will enjoy it, work my best, and be able to shine Christ. Nannying starts up in a week-which is new for me too. Lifegroup starts on tuesday with Ashley!! SUPER EXCITED!!! so right now 2 words to describe life for me is. STRETCHED and NEW. im used to TRADITION and CONTROL