what is going on?

God what are you doing? really? like you know me...you know i can make a simple matter super complicated by just thinking about it. what are you trying to teach me? you know when i struggle i push people away. you know when i mess up i dont want to stand up and try again. you know i walk in my own strength and end up getting sick from stress. obviously you are trying to show me that you are enough and the only way im learning is the hard way. why am i so stubborn? if i know the answer to these questions why do i continue to walk in the flesh?