and i learned...

I learned that i need to TRUST Jesus (all the time)

My circumstances may not change no matter how much i plan, so i might as well find joy in the midst of hard seasons.

I seek depth in relationships, but i need to balance how intense i should be :)

Even in confusion there is peace

I am not a dorm person. (too many people for a harmonizer)

I am not a college person. (how do people stay up that late? proud to say my new bedtime is 11pm!!)

It's super hard to keep in contact with people back home

I am not an expert on Roommate 101. Still got some learning to do.

Peach tea is my best friend. every morning.

God provides. (jobs, mentors, friends)...in His timing

Letting go is super hard. super hard. but it does take TIME, it's true, no one lies when they say that

Just because i could be a Jr. High leader does not mean my ministry stopped

Real teachers and real classrooms will never be taken for granted (take that Online school)

Train rides give me some of the best Dreamer time

I need trees more than i thought i did

I really would not have thrived as an RA (residential assistant). I love people, just not in that context

I am more motivated to do hard things now that i better understand what trusting Jesus means

I love celebratory worship (Harvest Bible Chapel)

Life continues on back home, even without me (still learning to be ok with that concept)

I am a super funny person and for the first time someone other than family appreciates it (my roomie, Em. I promised she's not biased)

I never got tired of Moody's Taco Tuesday

(more to come as i think of them)

in the clouds...

there has been a lot going on in my head, like more than normal. sporadic thoughts flood in with no real direction. i'm starting to think this is my dreamer time. it doesn't come out much. so i wonder, what makes that side of myself come out? stress? sleep deprivation? honestly that may be slightly true, but only slightly. i think my dreamer kicks in when, despite everything going on around me, im at peace. not the "sigh of relief, everything is ok" peace but the "im up on a cloud, soaking up every minute" peace. this week has been typical. nothing new. nothing special. and yet im happy. i have energy. is it because i understand what trusting Jesus looks like more? whatever it may be, me and my thoughts are enjoying some time in the clouds.

thoughts...


my sister is an inspiration. God is using her to bless others. my own sister. at a loss for word. summer in Washington is going to be amazing.
my brother is graduating high school. i've given myself permission to let go of previous relationship and move on, and it feels good. its freeing. going to Uganda at the end of the year, having Africa withdrawals.my hair is actually long finally :) TOMS are my best friend
i never should have said goodbye to fiction books, its been nice to tap back into my imagination. i get to bike soon. biking is one of my favorite outlets. my foot hasn't hurt in a while, just can't get carried away and start running quite yet there are many weddings i wont be able to go to cause i live in Chicago. am i really thinking about getting a tattoo this summer? yes. im going to be 20 next month. thats 10yrs from 30. im not ready to let go of "teenager" wish money wasn't an constant stress. going to try and like fingernail polish by the end of summer.i need a new favorite smell, im getting tired of all my lotion scents.
it's been years since ive talked to some people. weird thought since im usually good at staying in touch. still want to go on a friend roadtrip. ill keep planning. it will happen. eventually. i still love my many tv shows. wish i had someone here who appreciated them as much as me. can i meet Buble already?i could live without lights in my dorm room. i miss otter pops. school is almost done. my second year of college.