being present...

It is interesting how challenging a distant tragedy can be. I did not expect my heart to be stretched and hit with simple truths because of this. 

On Saturday, a Moody student passed away. 

I did not know him, so it did not immediately affect me. But his memorial service was this morning and man it was moving, challenging, and joyful. 

A thought dawned on me. It is times like these where, in a moment, knowledge transitions to understanding.

My days are numbered.

They are already planned out.

The creator of this universe knows EXACTLY the when, where, why, and how to my death here on Earth.

And yet...

I continue to live my life as if i have all the time in the world.

I rush past moments quickly in order to see the memory behind me.

And although it is nice to see how far i have come in life, i get sucked into the then and will soon be...forgetting that there is the now. The present.

This student was blessed with 18 years. To many, that is a short life. But his time here was complete. God used him and although he is no longer here on earth, God is continuing to use him. Whether i live to be 19 and 364 days or 99 years old, my perspective has got to change.

my life is in God's hands. my life. everything. i can't even fathom that. He has COMPLETE control and power over everything...including my life. The Almighty God has had my "end date" written down before i was in existence giving me full assurance that He knows what He is doing.

but i don't seem to be living in that truth...

I should not care when i die. but i do... i busy my life because i only have one life to live and i forget that if im obedient God will use me to my fullest. but i find myself telling God that i'm not done with serving people here on earth so i just have to live till im old. but His mission does not just consist of Team Solo Ashlyn. i am not the main part of His plan- i am simply one of many who is being used by Him. and that is such an incredible gift. but my concern should not be the "whens" of God's Plan in my life. it should be focused on doing everything i can to better the kingdom with the time he has given me.

I need to be present. present

Micah's time here at Moody was limited, but in that short time, he impacted many people, challenged them, encouraged them. Have i been doing all that i can to love those around me?

I overcomplicate life i think. Micah lived in love and it was evident to those around him. Love does not have to be complex. So what are the little things i am doing throughout my day to lift everything up to Jesus in gratitude for another day here on earth? Each day is another opportunity to love. am i doing that? or am i making plans to love people?

be present. take each day as it comes.
application. that is the next step for me.