the lies. the struggle. the growth

so i am writing with tears in my eyes. but i feel like i need to write out what i have been processing for some time now. I have finally sat down and confronted things i was hoping would just go away. for years now i have let lies become my new truth and it has ruined many conversations, and caused a feeling of unworthiness in me. i got the opportunity to sit down with an amazing woman of God and after a few hours of talking, i felt like challenged to actually work on breaking the lies that tied me down.

my biggest lie:



Basically i walk around every day believing i am a failure at everything i do and that one mistake is not an opportunity to grow but adding to the list of "How i am not good enough." i have let this rule me for years. The gal i talked with for hours challenged me to counteract this lie with some truth (whether it was a verse or not) although the truth i decided on seems simple, she told me that it helped her get through battles. well for this last week- i felt very refreshed and energized. there were several times where i had to say it to myself and i did feel a bit better. but nothing huge huge came until tonight. i feel like any comment directed at who i am hurts me more than a comment directed at what i am doing. a comment was made that hurt me and i instantly thought "I wasn't good enough and i thought i was the best i could be" the person meant nothing harsh by it was i am having such a hard time battling this right now.

i want to be done with this lie.
i want to walk in Christ's energy so i can move on.