Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
two more days...
(This song has been on my heart. I need to remember him in the midst of everything)
It has been now- 5 days-
five days since i received my third and last letter from Moody Bible.
The moment when, no matter the answer, i had to trust God.
It took five days. Five days now for me to actually start trusting what God was doing in my life despite my frustrations and confusion.
I got accepted into the school of my dreams finally. Accepted. As in my new home could be Chicago this fall.
What is God asking of me? Leaving would mean departing from HOME. i would be walking into a new chapter of my life with people i love far from me. i would be saying goodbye to the junior high girls i love so much. Today is day five of prayer. I am starting to feel secure. In the midst of the unknown i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got Jesus who has paved a way for me, who by the way, is the ALL-POWERFUL GOD.There is literally nothing i need to fear. I have an exciting opportunity before me. In two days i will be making my final decision.
My feelings are still roller-coastering away but i feel some peace. weird, when you trust God, peace is actually possible.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
im the youngest...
As i was working on my application for the Pink House (this is an option to do in the fall instead of Moody Bible), i started to write about my age. You see, for the Pink House you have to be at least 20 years old and i will be 19 years old, so i have to mention that despite my age, i am still as determined and passionate for ministry as a20yr old who is also applying. Anyways...i had to pause because it just hit me.
My whole life. i have been young.
I am always the youngest.
Even this year i have struggled with my age.
My closest friends are at least 2yrs older than me.
I was the only teen at my first college Well Lifegroup
I was the first official youngest summer staffer at Hume Lake at the age of 17
I was the first official youngest summer staffer at Sugar Pine at the age of 15
I started working with college students at age 11
I am the youngest Jr. High leader at the Well
I was one of the youngest employees at In-N-Out
I am the only teen working at Bath and Body Works (average age 24)
Now i am not listing off all my accomplishments rubbing in how many connections i had....no. I am listing all the times where i had to work my hardest and 110% to be at the same level as those around me. Sometimes my best was not good enough. (which i learned that my goal should be to please God not men, but different story for a different day) My whole life i have been placed in situations where my age has been ridiculed, looked down upon. It has affected relationships and caused people to treat me differently. BUT i learned what it means to be a hard worker. I learned what it means to be a servant. I learned what it means to love people, like love them when i really did not like them. When i expressed my struggles of my age to people, i don't think they understood. I really feel like only kids who have grown up in a Christian Camp would truly understand. This is like a unique thing. I grew up with pressure my whole life. (not from my parents) but from everyone else around me. We Hume kids were expected to always be happy, to be mature, to work hard. Or else if we didn't measure up, we were ignored or teased. There was no room for error. Moving down to Fresno, a whole new world than i was used to, also moved pressure away from me, but because i was used to it my whole life(because it was a normal part of life)...i put it upon myself subconsciously.
I place high expectations on myself and when i make just one mistake i feel like a failure. There have been people who, joking or not, have made comments about how immature and young i am and i just can't seem to let it go. I hold onto those words. Even in the midst of getting a great job at Bath and Body Works and being the youngest employee, i still struggle with forcing myself to be "that super mature and sweet 18yr old".
I remember one summer the Hume staff's verse was from 1 Timothy 4:12
"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity"
Haha what....how could i totally overlook that verse? I was so focused on peoples' opinions that i completely ignored God's thoughts on it. Literally today....i just remembered this verse.
If i actually start to believe this, what would change?
Well already....
What a GREAT ministry opportunity is it to work at Bath and Body Works and love on people?
If my focus is on Christ not on other things, then people will be drawn to Christ through me, NOT drawn to ME.
I should not try to grow up too fast for peoples sake, but i should embrace that i do have the ability to keep good conversation and interact with those around me older and younger. At the same time, I should not forget that its ok to have fun and be dumb at times.
All these experiences have happened for a reason and are only preparing me for something greater. Maybe i will go my whole life being the youngest. Maybe i will go to the Pink House, the youngest. But this just proves that God uses ANYONE willing to follow him. and age DOES NOT matter. ok maybe it is an aspect, its not like i can run for president right now, but maybe my young age is just God saying "Hey ash, get outside your comfort zone and actually follow me." I don't know, just something to think about.
My whole life. i have been young.
I am always the youngest.
Even this year i have struggled with my age.
My closest friends are at least 2yrs older than me.
I was the only teen at my first college Well Lifegroup
I was the first official youngest summer staffer at Hume Lake at the age of 17
I was the first official youngest summer staffer at Sugar Pine at the age of 15
I started working with college students at age 11
I am the youngest Jr. High leader at the Well
I was one of the youngest employees at In-N-Out
I am the only teen working at Bath and Body Works (average age 24)
Now i am not listing off all my accomplishments rubbing in how many connections i had....no. I am listing all the times where i had to work my hardest and 110% to be at the same level as those around me. Sometimes my best was not good enough. (which i learned that my goal should be to please God not men, but different story for a different day) My whole life i have been placed in situations where my age has been ridiculed, looked down upon. It has affected relationships and caused people to treat me differently. BUT i learned what it means to be a hard worker. I learned what it means to be a servant. I learned what it means to love people, like love them when i really did not like them. When i expressed my struggles of my age to people, i don't think they understood. I really feel like only kids who have grown up in a Christian Camp would truly understand. This is like a unique thing. I grew up with pressure my whole life. (not from my parents) but from everyone else around me. We Hume kids were expected to always be happy, to be mature, to work hard. Or else if we didn't measure up, we were ignored or teased. There was no room for error. Moving down to Fresno, a whole new world than i was used to, also moved pressure away from me, but because i was used to it my whole life(because it was a normal part of life)...i put it upon myself subconsciously.
I place high expectations on myself and when i make just one mistake i feel like a failure. There have been people who, joking or not, have made comments about how immature and young i am and i just can't seem to let it go. I hold onto those words. Even in the midst of getting a great job at Bath and Body Works and being the youngest employee, i still struggle with forcing myself to be "that super mature and sweet 18yr old".
I remember one summer the Hume staff's verse was from 1 Timothy 4:12
"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity"
Haha what....how could i totally overlook that verse? I was so focused on peoples' opinions that i completely ignored God's thoughts on it. Literally today....i just remembered this verse.
If i actually start to believe this, what would change?
Well already....
What a GREAT ministry opportunity is it to work at Bath and Body Works and love on people?
If my focus is on Christ not on other things, then people will be drawn to Christ through me, NOT drawn to ME.
I should not try to grow up too fast for peoples sake, but i should embrace that i do have the ability to keep good conversation and interact with those around me older and younger. At the same time, I should not forget that its ok to have fun and be dumb at times.
All these experiences have happened for a reason and are only preparing me for something greater. Maybe i will go my whole life being the youngest. Maybe i will go to the Pink House, the youngest. But this just proves that God uses ANYONE willing to follow him. and age DOES NOT matter. ok maybe it is an aspect, its not like i can run for president right now, but maybe my young age is just God saying "Hey ash, get outside your comfort zone and actually follow me." I don't know, just something to think about.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
starbuxing it up...
So maybe i am supposed to be doing school right now. But thank you laptop- you make me look im being really productive when in reality...im not. I am listening to background music (you know that music where you feel like you are in a flowery meadow running or looking down from a window smiling at a loved one, like music that i wished would follow me everywhere and could "narrate" my life based on what happens in my day) Across from me is Marcus, he is reading his Bible and journaling (can you say attractive. yes.) There are some diverse people groups surrounding this table i am sitting at. Some catching up with life, some talking about nerdy stuff, and the rest...not quite sure. Oh the feeling of a coffee shop :) I feel tired (still getting over my sickness) but i feel good.
What was your favorite food when you were a child?
Peaches- YUM!!!!
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
Well i don't have an ipod at the moment but on itunes: Ships in the Night by Mat Kearney, weird that's not even my favorite song right now.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
Well im a sucker for cheesy love quotes but at the moment the one i like (non love like) would have to be. "You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."
What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Indoor: laying in my bed to be honest
Outdoor: water balloon fights
What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
The dishes. Oh how i hate my hands getting wet!!!
What is your favorite form of exercise?
It used to be running. I do miss swim. I'd have to say biking now.
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
Time: 8am
Day: Saturday
Month: December (Christmas SEASON!!!)
What sound do you love?
Rain. Lawn movers. Laughter. Fire Crackling.
Ok i guess ill get back to school now :)
What was your favorite food when you were a child?
Peaches- YUM!!!!
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
Well i don't have an ipod at the moment but on itunes: Ships in the Night by Mat Kearney, weird that's not even my favorite song right now.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
Well im a sucker for cheesy love quotes but at the moment the one i like (non love like) would have to be. "You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."
What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Indoor: laying in my bed to be honest
Outdoor: water balloon fights
What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
The dishes. Oh how i hate my hands getting wet!!!
What is your favorite form of exercise?
It used to be running. I do miss swim. I'd have to say biking now.
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
Time: 8am
Day: Saturday
Month: December (Christmas SEASON!!!)
What sound do you love?
Rain. Lawn movers. Laughter. Fire Crackling.
Ok i guess ill get back to school now :)
Monday, March 26, 2012
a thing called trust...
So I just spent quite a bit of time coming up with a really good analogy to convey what is going on in my mind but when i reread it....i got frustrated. It didn't work. My visual example of what is going on in my head just didn't work. I am now at step 1 once again. I guess a simple blog post will have to suffice.
I don't think i am just sick because of lack of sleep.
I don't want to be around people.
I don't want to go to work.
I don't want to do school.
But why?
Because every time I feel pressure about something i freak out. I overanalyze. I wall up. I push away.
I don't rest in His arms. I don't find peace.
I just go throughout my day feeling sick.
I have tried to talk to people about this. (What I am going to do this fall) But you know, at the end of the day, it's a me and Jesus thing. Well actually it is a Jesus thing. (i need to be fully surrendered to Him...but i am not to be honest) Talking it out has not helped me process or helped me breath.
In two weeks, by April 15th, i will receive a letter in the mail. This will be the third and last letter I get from Moody Bible Institute.
Options:
Letter says No
-I will apply to the Pink House
-I will continue to work at Bath and Body works
-I will continue to love on my Jr. High girls
-I will go to a community college
-I will look at other ministry training programs
Letter says Yes
-I will go Moody Bible
-I will say no
-If i say no, i will apply to the Pink House
-If i say no, i will look at going overseas short term
The letter is not God's answer....well its not a clear and direct answer at least. I do not feel at rest with either possible answer. I am looking more at staying here in Fresno...but am i doing it for the right reasons? I am comfortable here. I have community here. I have a boyfriend here. I have my family and a job I love. Maybe God is calling me to leave that. To go into the unknown.
Or maybe i am supposed to be here. To continue doing ministry here. I know I said it's comfortable to live here in fresno and i know we are not called to live a comfortable life...but i think it is all in perspective. I mean when i sit back and look at my life right now....there are a ton of things that kind of suck right now but because my mentality has shifted, i would consider my life comfortable. I feel like in order to grow and be challenged i have to do something, be open to, or allow God to place me in the midst of something i am not comfortable with, but that doesn't mean live an uncomfortable life. There are so many things i am uncomfortable with, like speaking in front of people. But me trying to work on speaking does not make my whole life uncomfortable, it just is a small thing that will challenge and grow me to desire the God of the universe. I feel like you can live a comfortable life in the midst of uncomfortable circumstances. It's just all in perspective. I don't think my reason to leave Fresno should be because i live a comfortable life. My motivation should not be based solely on my circumstances. I don't know if that makes sense.
All in all....i have basically three short weeks to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life. I am up for the adventure....but to be honest i am not fond of this journey to get to the adventure at the moment. I really do need to trust Him.And i know looking back i will be thankful but i also need to be thankful now. right now in the midst of not knowing.
I don't think i am just sick because of lack of sleep.
I don't want to be around people.
I don't want to go to work.
I don't want to do school.
But why?
Because every time I feel pressure about something i freak out. I overanalyze. I wall up. I push away.
I don't rest in His arms. I don't find peace.
I just go throughout my day feeling sick.
I have tried to talk to people about this. (What I am going to do this fall) But you know, at the end of the day, it's a me and Jesus thing. Well actually it is a Jesus thing. (i need to be fully surrendered to Him...but i am not to be honest) Talking it out has not helped me process or helped me breath.
In two weeks, by April 15th, i will receive a letter in the mail. This will be the third and last letter I get from Moody Bible Institute.
Options:
Letter says No
-I will apply to the Pink House
-I will continue to work at Bath and Body works
-I will continue to love on my Jr. High girls
-I will go to a community college
-I will look at other ministry training programs
Letter says Yes
-I will go Moody Bible
-I will say no
-If i say no, i will apply to the Pink House
-If i say no, i will look at going overseas short term
The letter is not God's answer....well its not a clear and direct answer at least. I do not feel at rest with either possible answer. I am looking more at staying here in Fresno...but am i doing it for the right reasons? I am comfortable here. I have community here. I have a boyfriend here. I have my family and a job I love. Maybe God is calling me to leave that. To go into the unknown.
Or maybe i am supposed to be here. To continue doing ministry here. I know I said it's comfortable to live here in fresno and i know we are not called to live a comfortable life...but i think it is all in perspective. I mean when i sit back and look at my life right now....there are a ton of things that kind of suck right now but because my mentality has shifted, i would consider my life comfortable. I feel like in order to grow and be challenged i have to do something, be open to, or allow God to place me in the midst of something i am not comfortable with, but that doesn't mean live an uncomfortable life. There are so many things i am uncomfortable with, like speaking in front of people. But me trying to work on speaking does not make my whole life uncomfortable, it just is a small thing that will challenge and grow me to desire the God of the universe. I feel like you can live a comfortable life in the midst of uncomfortable circumstances. It's just all in perspective. I don't think my reason to leave Fresno should be because i live a comfortable life. My motivation should not be based solely on my circumstances. I don't know if that makes sense.
All in all....i have basically three short weeks to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life. I am up for the adventure....but to be honest i am not fond of this journey to get to the adventure at the moment. I really do need to trust Him.And i know looking back i will be thankful but i also need to be thankful now. right now in the midst of not knowing.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
oh happy day...
i feel...i feel happy.
....yea happy.
what a surfacey word.
a word i don't use too often (not because im not feeling that way, but because the word "happy" has a childish and dreamy ring to it). As i have grown older i began to use words like "joy" and "contentment" to express what i was feeling instead of the simple word "happy". Yes i know...joy and contentment are so much deeper than being happy (different post for a different day) but today my focus is on HAPPY.
I felt like a kid,
opening my eyes this morning to a nice cool morning.
the feeling of being alive running through my veins.
hearing the birds enjoying morning conversations.
the smell of my peach Bellini wallflower scent.
i felt happy. i haven't felt happy since my formal dance last year. maybe i tried to grow up too much. maybe i became too serious and jumped over being happy.
today was a typical day- spent time doing laundry, taking out the trash. went to a store meeting. took kylen to the movies. grabbed a slushie. brought marcus one too. hung out for a little bit with a friend. facetimed my old youth pastor. went to church. heard a fantastic sermon-sat next to old high school friends. went to dinner with Janelle. had super good conversation. and now sitting relaxed on my couch, listening to music. As i did all those things i was happy. i even felt a little bit hyper. i had energy all day. i feel like i didn't have to choose to have a fresh perspective- it just came.
days like these are sooo great. sooo refreshing.
i felt just great to be able to live life today. im so thankful for today. today i got to include Jesus in all that i did- how awesome to have a God who wants to be a part of my day. At church i felt cute, comfortable, and enjoyed my long hair. i didn't care what others thought or said to me (i guess i was not high in harmonizer haha) ...i just felt like i was in a cloud. maybe that was a but random but im trying to convey how happy i was today, and still am!
not sure if people feel this way anymore.happy. have we forgotten to just enjoy life? to smile literally for no reason? to look up at the stars and find imaginary pictures and pretend to be all scientific(when really we aren't)? to eat a cookie and say yum?
i feel like the small things in life (like hanging out with friends for a bit, eating a cookie, or feeling cute) are reasons to just smile and just be happy.
....yea happy.
what a surfacey word.
a word i don't use too often (not because im not feeling that way, but because the word "happy" has a childish and dreamy ring to it). As i have grown older i began to use words like "joy" and "contentment" to express what i was feeling instead of the simple word "happy". Yes i know...joy and contentment are so much deeper than being happy (different post for a different day) but today my focus is on HAPPY.
I felt like a kid,
opening my eyes this morning to a nice cool morning.
the feeling of being alive running through my veins.
hearing the birds enjoying morning conversations.
the smell of my peach Bellini wallflower scent.
i felt happy. i haven't felt happy since my formal dance last year. maybe i tried to grow up too much. maybe i became too serious and jumped over being happy.
today was a typical day- spent time doing laundry, taking out the trash. went to a store meeting. took kylen to the movies. grabbed a slushie. brought marcus one too. hung out for a little bit with a friend. facetimed my old youth pastor. went to church. heard a fantastic sermon-sat next to old high school friends. went to dinner with Janelle. had super good conversation. and now sitting relaxed on my couch, listening to music. As i did all those things i was happy. i even felt a little bit hyper. i had energy all day. i feel like i didn't have to choose to have a fresh perspective- it just came.
days like these are sooo great. sooo refreshing.
i felt just great to be able to live life today. im so thankful for today. today i got to include Jesus in all that i did- how awesome to have a God who wants to be a part of my day. At church i felt cute, comfortable, and enjoyed my long hair. i didn't care what others thought or said to me (i guess i was not high in harmonizer haha) ...i just felt like i was in a cloud. maybe that was a but random but im trying to convey how happy i was today, and still am!
not sure if people feel this way anymore.happy. have we forgotten to just enjoy life? to smile literally for no reason? to look up at the stars and find imaginary pictures and pretend to be all scientific(when really we aren't)? to eat a cookie and say yum?
i feel like the small things in life (like hanging out with friends for a bit, eating a cookie, or feeling cute) are reasons to just smile and just be happy.
simply answering questions...
I fell onto a website while i was stumbling (www.stumbleupon.com). There were a ton of "get to know you" questions and i felt the need to answer some. :) Back in jr. high it was always fun to send emails (back when Gmail was a huge deal) back and forth and answer questions like, "When did you wake up today?" or 'When was the last time you laughed." I miss those days of simplicity. I have some extra time today, so i want to just answer a few questions. I want to go back to being a jr. high girl just for a little bit here in this post and have a blast answering really random but awesome questions :)
What is your favorite type of art?
I have watched movies where the guy takes the girl on a cute date to an art gallery. They stand there mesmerized by abstract paint strokes. Then they look at each other and smile, just floating in a cloud. Sure the movies are great but to be honest....if i were to go into a gallery. ha. i just don't have appreciation for that art. Now lets say If i were in a movie, the guy would take the girl (me) for a nice walk downtown on an adventure to find amazing art. Graffiti. yes graffiti. oh how i wish that artwork could transfer onto a canvas. i love going on car trips and looking out the window as a train passes by. While my siblings count how many train cars there are, my eyes are captured on the spray paint so magically placed on the metal walls. Graffiti makes me want to be a hip hop dancer all the more....but that's just a side note. so my favorite type of art would have to be GRAFFITI.
Have you ever seen a broadway musical? Do you like theater?
In New York i got to see Phantom of the Opera and LOVED it. In Los Angeles, i got to see Wicked. AHHH loved it. I just love shows. Its a chance to sit and be immersed in a completely different world.
Do you like to sing?
Very much so.
Not in the shower. But in the rain.
Not on stage. But in the midst of an audience.
Singing is so relieving. It is the moment where speaking simply will not suffice. It is the only time i get to experience a taste of sounding poetic :)
I LOVE singing in the car. I LOVE singing while on a walk. I LOVE singing while im sitting on my bed looking out the window.
I am ok that i am not a fantastic singer- that im off key on pretty much every note. I am ok that i will never be able to sing and melt the hearts of those who hear my voice.
Do you like to dance?
Line dancing. Yes.
Ballroom dancing. Yes.
I am one of those people where i have to practice SO much in order to even look like i know what i am doing. I don't think people really understand how much multi-tasking goes into dancing.
What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
I don't think i can mentally, emotionally, and physically answer this question. I have been SO loved and blessed by so many people. I think overall, any act of kindness, any moment of thoughtfulness, any surprising thing out of love-is something i hold dear to me and cherish so much. I can't name a favorite gift, but i can name people who have been such a gift to me.
If you were invisible for a month, what would you do?
If i did not love Jesus: i would see how many crimes i could get away with
But because i love Jesus...i would just prank people in so many funny ways :) oh to be invisible.
Which would you prefer as a second home: Mountain cabin, beach house or big city condo?
Mountain cabin- no hesitation there. I love the seclusion- a perfect way to rest, be simple, and enjoy life. I can just picture the smell of trees, dirt, just earth. I can picture sunshine shining through the trees, a river in the background. Me sitting on a porch drinking yummy drinks and reading. But i also see camping in tents. Late night walks. Early morning hikes. I see off roading in a jeep. I see home.
If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Annual Pass to Disneyland. I don't think people quite understand how much i love it.
What was stashed under your bed/mattress as a child?
My special rocks. Love notes. Craisins (i didn't want my mom to see that i took them to eat throughout the night). My sister's favorite toys. My purity ring.
What's your favorite flower?
I am not a rose type of girl. I love orange gerber daisies. I love wildflowers. I didn't think i was a flower type of girl but i think i am more than i let on.
What is your favorite type of art?
I have watched movies where the guy takes the girl on a cute date to an art gallery. They stand there mesmerized by abstract paint strokes. Then they look at each other and smile, just floating in a cloud. Sure the movies are great but to be honest....if i were to go into a gallery. ha. i just don't have appreciation for that art. Now lets say If i were in a movie, the guy would take the girl (me) for a nice walk downtown on an adventure to find amazing art. Graffiti. yes graffiti. oh how i wish that artwork could transfer onto a canvas. i love going on car trips and looking out the window as a train passes by. While my siblings count how many train cars there are, my eyes are captured on the spray paint so magically placed on the metal walls. Graffiti makes me want to be a hip hop dancer all the more....but that's just a side note. so my favorite type of art would have to be GRAFFITI.
Have you ever seen a broadway musical? Do you like theater?
In New York i got to see Phantom of the Opera and LOVED it. In Los Angeles, i got to see Wicked. AHHH loved it. I just love shows. Its a chance to sit and be immersed in a completely different world.
Do you like to sing?
Very much so.
Not in the shower. But in the rain.
Not on stage. But in the midst of an audience.
Singing is so relieving. It is the moment where speaking simply will not suffice. It is the only time i get to experience a taste of sounding poetic :)
I LOVE singing in the car. I LOVE singing while on a walk. I LOVE singing while im sitting on my bed looking out the window.
I am ok that i am not a fantastic singer- that im off key on pretty much every note. I am ok that i will never be able to sing and melt the hearts of those who hear my voice.
Do you like to dance?
Line dancing. Yes.
Ballroom dancing. Yes.
I am one of those people where i have to practice SO much in order to even look like i know what i am doing. I don't think people really understand how much multi-tasking goes into dancing.
What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
I don't think i can mentally, emotionally, and physically answer this question. I have been SO loved and blessed by so many people. I think overall, any act of kindness, any moment of thoughtfulness, any surprising thing out of love-is something i hold dear to me and cherish so much. I can't name a favorite gift, but i can name people who have been such a gift to me.
If you were invisible for a month, what would you do?
If i did not love Jesus: i would see how many crimes i could get away with
But because i love Jesus...i would just prank people in so many funny ways :) oh to be invisible.
Which would you prefer as a second home: Mountain cabin, beach house or big city condo?
Mountain cabin- no hesitation there. I love the seclusion- a perfect way to rest, be simple, and enjoy life. I can just picture the smell of trees, dirt, just earth. I can picture sunshine shining through the trees, a river in the background. Me sitting on a porch drinking yummy drinks and reading. But i also see camping in tents. Late night walks. Early morning hikes. I see off roading in a jeep. I see home.
If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Annual Pass to Disneyland. I don't think people quite understand how much i love it.
What was stashed under your bed/mattress as a child?
My special rocks. Love notes. Craisins (i didn't want my mom to see that i took them to eat throughout the night). My sister's favorite toys. My purity ring.
What's your favorite flower?
I am not a rose type of girl. I love orange gerber daisies. I love wildflowers. I didn't think i was a flower type of girl but i think i am more than i let on.
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