September 27th: lightbulb...

Jesus Calling really gets me like every time i sit down and read the short piece of writing for the day. Sometimes i cheat and read something from a different day. Today, I did not, i innocently read the September 27th entry and now laugh because it was EXACTLY what i needed to hear. It was worded so well to the point that new  feelings were revealed to me...i love when i can't even identify what is going on in my heart then something comes along, like this book, and a lightbulb goes off. 

"Relax in my everlasting arms. Your weakness is an opportunity to grow strong in awareness of My Almighty Presence. When your energy fails you, do not look inward and lament the lack you find there. Look to Me and My sufficiency; rejoice in My radiant riches that are abundantly available to help you.

Go gently through this day, leaning on Me and enjoying My Presence. Thank me for your neediness, which is building trust bonds between us. If you look back on your journey thus far, you can see that days of extreme weakness have been some of your most precious times. Memories if these days are richly interwoven with golden strands of My intimate Presence."

I just love it all :) I would bold everything...but that would be a bit much. What really stuck out to me was "Thank me for your neediness, which is building trust bonds between us." Yes, i have identified my neediness but i have not thanked Him for it. And heres the thing...if i actually submit and thank him..i'm not being left empty handed. I am walking away trusting the Lord so much more and that is what i have been longing for, for so long.

The last sentence pretty much made me stop, halt, pause, and look back at most of my 2012 memories with a new perspective. He really was present in all of it. all of it. Now...when i look back, those moments are truly sweet. Last week i would have said that this year has been hard, frustrating, and just not my year. But the lightbulb went off. If you ask me now...yea 2012 has not been easy but it has been good. I have grown so much, actually started to understand God's intimacy, and realized walking in the unknown is exactly where God would have me...and im ok with that. 

I've given in God...you know what you are doing. You got this completely under control.