this weekend...

wow...to describe this weekend...its all in my head but i am having trouble putting down words to explain all that i did and how blessed i truly feel. the moment that i was like "Ok God, ill give you my time, treasure, and talents." He blessed me more than i could have imagined....its no secret that Christ will bless those who pursue Him...why did i take so long though? Oh cause im just that stubborn. I will have to journal about everything tomorrow. Ahh. Im just very much in a happy place.

thanks...

tonight was so good. like i dont have words to express it. for years now, i waited for a night like this. a night where i could be me and hang out with amazing people. i love every minute. bonfire+a ton of laughter= perfect night. Thank you Jesus.

it a happy place...

got to spend some me and jesus time today at the Grind. One of my top things to do in fresno. I LOVE grabbing my white mocha, grabbing a seat outside, turning on some happy music (not buble this time...no this is Jesus music :) ) plug in my earbuds, open my Bible, and get soaked up in it. i feel so much peace. i get to enjoy Christ in the midst of life happening all around me. with music playing in my ears, i put myself in a bubble, yet i get to look around and see His glory ALL around. wish i could do this more often :)

thoughts in my head...

i am a bit frustrated....
i feel like energy i put into loving and investing into two dear people, is all for nothing and wasted.
they have closed themselves off from me.
i dont blame them-i cant begin to imagine what they are going through right now
but im here- wanting to serve and love them
and God has obviously placed them in my life
but how do i love when all i meet is a wall of masked emotion?
i just dont know what to do.

memories of 2011

Evacuation
Wyoming
Graduation
Grad nite
Getting a job at BBW
Becoming a wsm leader
Hume trip (ams and michelle)
Summer nights with juju and sean
Pinterest (cat board)
Got a laptop
Severely sprained ankle (Halloween costume)
Cabin for new years
Pj and sheri
Haters gonna hate
Formal
Met cambria, kim
Michael Buble concert
College trip with Kathryn
Reconnecting with Sammy and mandy
Became closer to juju, melody, Darbi and sean
Redding trip with haley
learned a lot about what relationships look like
saw a ton of good movies

winter cabin...

Soo its official. My perfect weekend away is going up to a cabin in the middle of nowhere…having no responsibilities, no time crunches, snow outside. Now add a boyfriend in…more perfect. But I can wait ☺

tattoo...

So ive made a decision. For my 19th birthday I want to get a tattoo.

Reasons:
I want to be “rebellious” (mom said it was ok….so my plan to be rebellious is defeated-but im still going to be “rebellious”)
I LOVE small tattoos…not ones that you can see at first glance but ones with a story. I wouldn’t want someone to be distracted by my tattoo if we were in a conversation.

I am only getting words. Now I am not promising to only get one tattoo throughout my life….but I do promise it will always have meaning and never be a picture.

I am still trying to decide what I want.

Some ideas:
Locations- wrist, inside arm, foot, upper neck
I am looking at doing a few words. I want it to be a conversational starter.
The tattoo will “sum up” in words a reminder of what I have struggled with, grown in, and how God has played an instrumental part in helping me overcome it.


So we will see…..