first year over...

My freshman year in college is complete. done. What a year. A year of surprises, struggles, and newness.

I am walking away from this year very thankful. God has been so patient with me as i work through what it means to really trust him. In the midst of this process, He has blessed me so much. Without this year, it would have not been hard to leave Fresno but now...Fresno is home. I have built myself a little community. I have been blessed with people like Mindy Spencer, Kim Feil and Cambria Spears who have poured into my life and challenged me in so many ways. My relationships with my family are so much stronger. I have jr. high girls that i call my own now. The friends i have made at Bath and Body Works are irreplaceable. And i still have Marcus :) This year has been so incredible and i wouldn't trade it for anything. But it also made me super excited for this coming fall. A new roommate, city, school-why yes that sounds nice!

a quick thought...

this is going to be quick.

God constantly has my back (well duh he never leaves) but He chooses to show me Who he is through different aspects in my life. Today was not so great but in the end. i felt loved. Thank you Jesus for putting people in my life. A letter, a hug, a text....three simple things that meant the world to me.

this weekend...

wow...to describe this weekend...its all in my head but i am having trouble putting down words to explain all that i did and how blessed i truly feel. the moment that i was like "Ok God, ill give you my time, treasure, and talents." He blessed me more than i could have imagined....its no secret that Christ will bless those who pursue Him...why did i take so long though? Oh cause im just that stubborn. I will have to journal about everything tomorrow. Ahh. Im just very much in a happy place.

thanks...

tonight was so good. like i dont have words to express it. for years now, i waited for a night like this. a night where i could be me and hang out with amazing people. i love every minute. bonfire+a ton of laughter= perfect night. Thank you Jesus.

it a happy place...

got to spend some me and jesus time today at the Grind. One of my top things to do in fresno. I LOVE grabbing my white mocha, grabbing a seat outside, turning on some happy music (not buble this time...no this is Jesus music :) ) plug in my earbuds, open my Bible, and get soaked up in it. i feel so much peace. i get to enjoy Christ in the midst of life happening all around me. with music playing in my ears, i put myself in a bubble, yet i get to look around and see His glory ALL around. wish i could do this more often :)

Hey God...it's me Ash

God thank you for the opportunities you have placed me in to shine you (work). Give me the words to say and the confidence to display you in everything that I do. I pray for my friend who is searching for something greater right now (you)- open her heart today as she sits next to me in church. May our conversation afterwards be glorifying. I'm running low on energy and I'm ready to crash- give me some energy (for i dont want to resort to energy drinks..ewww) Thanks for this great fall day :)
Ash

He Provides...proof here

Where did all my friends go from high school? Well define friend for me first. If you are talking about someone who i invested time into and loved on, well life goes on and they are moving on. If you are talking about WSMers...same thing,new chapter in life. It's all the same. Those i was around for years are no longer a part of my life. Guess what? Im totally ok with that. God PROVIDES beyond my wildest dreams. Meet my 3 friends. You are probably thinking....wait Ashlyn has only 3 friends??? That's right and i LOVE it! They are the first people who have invested into me, loved me for me, but love me too much to see me stay where i am and therefore challenge me and encourage me!


Meet Michelle Anderson: Rewind to freshman year, youth group and leadership. I'd just moved to Fresno and knew no one...although i have no idea how we both met, i can get glimpses of my first year in this new place of us just laughing at everything and enjoying life together. We were glued to the hip freshman year-we were the typical freshies and needed each other just to laugh. What drew me to her originally? Not many people can joke and have fun with so much purity and liveliness but at the same time have a strong foundation in Christ. She is so beautiful and yet doesn't flaunt it every which way. She knows where her value and worth lie and that is not of man's acceptance but of Jesus'. She always shared in any group discussion and has always been honest. We transitioned into sophomore and junior year, friendly as always, but nothing more than a simple hi and hug. These were pivotal years in both of our lives where, through trial and error, successes and excitement, we started to stand firm in what we truly believed in and grounded in on who were were in Christ. At the start of senior year, the "fun and easy" chapter of our lives that we enjoyed for the last few years, started coming to a close all because of having to work in a real work environment. There were so many new responsibilities and expectations held to seniors and throughout the craziness, we both decided to go to dinner and just catch up. What a bonding moment. who would have thought we would tell our struggles within these last couple of years and open up enough to be raw and vulnerable. what a risk worth taking. in the car she said "i know that i may not reach out like you do, but know i will always be here for you and im you friend" sure ive heard people say it..but she she truly meant it. wow. God has brought us together, not for just for a surfacey "friendship" but for a deep and incredible friendship that has now shaped and molded my view on what love, sacrificing, and loyalty means within a friendship.


Meet Fletcher Klassen:
A boy, well young man, who has blown me away with his heart for God. Not very many can say that our friendship started when he helped my family move into a new house, go to kenya for christmas to serve for 3 weeks, go to a school formal, and have an incredible God-given friendship. He has such a heart for ministry. He constantly makes me laugh and always brightens my day. He has seen both my good and bad sides, seen me cry and even act like a clown, and loves me for me. He is loyal and caring. In the midst of hard circumstances, his strong love for Christ was his energy and by just the small things he does has truly influenced me.


Meet Sean Borgstadt:
This boy, i have known since freshman year. At first he thought i was weird so i decided there was no point in being friends with someone who didn't really want to be friends. Well God had other plans i would say, and kept placing him in my life in different ways. Leadership for one. In most of our group discussions, he was always in my group and in any group pictures with youth group..he was always next to me. Our families started becoming friends and still we didn't really acknowledge each other. For Jr/Senior Classic retreat we started to make our way closer to a friendship but it wasn't until one night in leadership when we were talking about if we were spending our time wisely here on earth and after a challenging exercise, he walked away challenged, it was laid on my heart to send him a quick message asking if he wanted to talk about it. From there we started to have several conversation and then he started giving me rides home after leadership. As his friends moved in different directions he started to see that a few of us, who were still in his life, were pretty amazing :) Although me and him are not very similar we bring out the best in each other. We can talk for hours or just play. He has such an understanding of God and i have loved seeing his relationship with HIm grow and how he views life.


None of these friends expect more than i can give. They accept me, love me and challenge me. They have redefined what a friendship really is. What a joy it is to be a part of their lives and be invested into.They bring only the best out of me and lift me up. For however long God allows them in my life, I am and will be so thankful for the impact they have had on my life and the tremendous encouragement to push me to become the woman of God I have been called to be. I AM SO BLESSED.

What i needed to hear....

Andrea De Luca December 6 at 4:15pm Report
hey how are you young lady??! lol.
well... remember how you used to invite me to your youth group and i seemed like i wasnt that interested? well i just wanna say thank you for inviting me cuz even though it took like two years i finally have a relationship with Jesus and its awesome:) i found a really great church by my house and idk how to explain it but you probly know what i'm trying to say haha. and like wow its just amazing

So today has been a weird day. It is Char's last day here. It kind of hit me-cried a bit, but nothing too big. I started to clean which meant i felt i had no control over life right now. I started to go through all my letters from previous high school years. I started to remember my old friends who now lived in different parts of Cali. I happened to look on Facebook and saw i got a message. From Andrea De Luca. Not someone i was expecting. We were good friends for the first part of high school. She was my first friend at North. We started to hang out wit different friends and she ended up moving. This was a fun surprise. I started to read and quickly became overwhelmed. A girl whom i loved and hung out with did not understand God's saving grace and it was sad for me. I invited her to youth group and did my best to live as Christ asks us to, but i had NO idea how God could use a Freshman/Sophomore to plant a seed in her heart. She is now my sister in Christ and i am so overjoyed! It was encouraging to get and read. If Andrea asked God intoher heart then God can work in Claire's heart. All i need to do is keep on loving her and show her Jesus and He will use my little human actions for His glory! I have to say this may be one of my best moments in high school.

Mindy Spencer

Mindy is the only life group leader that has never left. Through all i went through these past 3 years, she was always there! Every other leader has been great sure, but they all have left for various reasons. I trust her with all my heart. There are very few older people i turn to other than my mom and she is one of them. She is such an amazing leader! Who would have thought that the leader on my freshman year's Amazing Race team would be her and years later she is still here. I have pulled her aside several times to vent and she has listened to me. Wow i am so blessed

Morgan Stahl

Ok so there are like a ton of people in my life that have encouraged me or helped me in some way. I thought it would be a good idea to write it down so i can look at it as a reminder of how blessed and loved i am. Now i am not writing them in order of importance, i'll write down whatever one is on my mind.So there will be many posts deticated to different people.

Todays is...

Morgan Stahl: Wow, this girl is so precious to me. I cherish this friendship so much. My sophomore year, she invested into my life (as a senior i might add) when she had no obligation to do so. She was in my life during my struggling season of loneliness. She constantly bought m Jambas, and saved me seats in church, and took me on car dates (we would drive around figuring out something to do but never coming up with anything haha). She is very wise in what she says and i always listened to her. But my major appreciation would have to be: (soph yr) Friday, 30mins before WSM's winter camp. I had just told Jeff i wasn't going to camp (even though i would be going for free) because i was "tired"-meaning i knew so many people yet felt so alone. i wasn't in the mood to invest into people's lives at all. (yes i was being selfish and was stuck in a pit of self pity)As i was headed to my room, the door bell rang. Kylen's voice yelled out, "Ashlyn, Morgan is here!" i was mad-if jeff was sending people to get me to go, i would stop going to wsm. (ok maybe i was being a little dramatic. I walked down the stairs to see why she was here. All she did was hand me a bag of marshies and a letter, then left. I was totally caught off guard and said nothing. I quickly ran upstairs to read the letter. To this day, that letter was the best, most heart felt, encouraging, and sweet letters i have ever gotten. I ended up crying. The note was not to tell me what i was doing was wrong but to let me know someone other than my family was there for me. her act of kindness humbled me. The marshies showed how much she loved me and truly knew me. I called her up and packed my bag in 5 mins. i ended up going to camp, which was another adventure and stretcher but that story is for a different time. Thanks to morgan, i got up on my feet again and started looking to Jesus again. Without her i would not love others with the right perspective and energy (God) to back me up.


Today is November 12th now and felt like i needed to add to this post. Found a letter i wrote to Morgan and can't remember if i gave it to her or not.

Morgan Stahl. Morgan Stahl. Morgan Stahl. So much comes into my mind when I hear those words. I feel joy, beauty, contentment, love, loyalty. I think of an amazing woman of God, a spectacular smile, a happiness that is so contagious, I see passion, I see my friend. There is so much to this girl. Success, thoughtfulness, selflessness. She listens. She works with all her heart. She makes me laugh both when she’s mad and goofy. She has a cute way of how she reacts. The more mad she gets the more she smiles. She is not like anyone I’ve met. She is confident in who she is and strives to be a better person daily. She encourages others though mere actions but also her letters to me. She has helped me come out of depression. She has used her gifts of serving by reaching out to others in our youth group. Our friendship started with a hi but no real meaning behind it, only just to be nice. Then got to hugs. Then calling each other and hanging out. She is one of those people that makes friendship so easy. We were meant to be friends but to this day I don’t know how we got to know each other so well. When she struggles she comes and talks to me. It means the world to me that she, a senior, would some talk to me, a sophomore. She is genuine. Honest. Sweet. A friend to me is someone who doesn’t leave when I push them away, who keeps me on the path im supposed to be, someone I can have fun with, someone who will sit in the car outside my house in the rain and listen, someone who will shovel gravel for fun with me, someone who allows me to me myself. She is rather talented, no not juggling, but she can be quiet and wise, or loud and funny either way she can relate to people. People who haven’t gotten to know her are missing out on a one of a kind. I wish I could put to words what she means to me. But I can’t. So to answer the questions I was supposed to answer. Morgan Stahl (doesn’t just her name make you smile- it does for me) is the type of person who I could turn to for anything. She is the type of person I can be serious around and very fun/goofy. She is rather sarcastic and comes up with a witty response to a lot I say(it would be amazing but I don’t get sarcasm nearly as much as I should-guess I’m missing out) I would very much like to get to know her better and see how God uses her. Although we all make mistakes, Morgan is a very positive and good example of how we should treat others and become a better person who loves God. She is sometimes lazy but aren’t we all. Im jealous of her. lol