a stretching frustration...

I have realized within this past week here at Moody Bible, that i desire for deep relationships more than anything else. I'll pause for a second and explain this last week first though because it has been an amazing week and i am confident that this is exactly where God would have me this year.

Orientation was nothing new to me due to all the summer camps i have worked at and all the new jobs i started. So walking into a college orientation seemed to be like any other. Uh no it wasn't. It was so good. Moody did such a great job at balancing. 400 of us new students got to rule the campus for a few days, which allowed for getting lost to feel less stupid (cause everyone was figuring it out at once). We all were split into groups based on our college experience. I was part of the Transfer group. There was about 20 of us and we were able to go over rules, possible future issues that may arise, etc. I loved that it was a smaller group and the sessions were spread out over a series of days rather than overloading in one day. Orientation was so helpful and definitely feel more at home.

It was a very great week. There were no tears...until today. I hadn't realized how frustrated i had become and my mom brought it to light.

Everywhere that i find myself, whether that be working a summer at Hume Lake or in Fresno or here in Chicago, i jump to building relationships, solid ones, very quickly. I feel like most people don't approach meeting new people with that much intensity, and often i forget that.

I have not connected with anyone from this week really and it really hurts. Because its so ingrained in me to pour into people and build friendships, i expect results rather fast.

What does it really mean to be present with where i am at? To be grateful for where things are at? I honestly don't truly understand that concept i have grown up learning.

I have to learn to enjoy the small things. That one letter i got under my door today to encourage me....may be the only one i get here...and i should be grateful for it. That one church outing with another student may be the last with her...but i should be so thankful for such a fun day. When i get one moment of good, i need to grasp it, soak it up, and be thankful. Period. I need to not take that good thing and look around it hoping to find 10 more behind it.

I would love prayer in patience. to be present. to be thankful for what i have been given.