trailed thinking...

Sometimes when i read the Bible i end up journaling in a rabbit-trail-sort-of-way. Although whatever i read was very good, sometimes God reveals something semi-random for me to think about. Today i read, Philippians 4:8-9
(⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.) 
This is a verse i grew up learning but i decided to look with fresh perspective today. (yea i know, we are supposed to do that everyday but i actually did it for reals today) Fast forward to my rabbit trail.

Journal:
"I need to continue practicing. (v. 9..."seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you") It is a life of practice. That's what i got myself into when i started a relationship with the Creator. I will constantly fall short, never live up, almost make it but not quite. It feels so weird to write but honestly it is true. To be blunt we all are failures at life. It is a fact. But i believed the this fact in the wrong way and it took me down unhealthy and unnecessary paths. We were created in Christ- we aren't Christ though. He made us to need him. If we always measured up- life would get boring to be honest and we would not find God useful in our lives. The Old Testament is a clear example that we are human and can never be perfect. The Old Covenant law had so many rules that even i, the non-rebellious one, would totally mess up at. We desperately need Him. We can't do it on our own. I can't do it on my own. I NEED to embrace my mistakes because that is one of the most humbling times that i get to see visually how little i am and how i am nothing without God. Those mistakes i get down on myself so hard for are just another way that God is trying to teach me personally , I am not God. I can't control my life. I will constantly be disappointed. I will always feel some burden. So today it hit me. When i mess up. At the end of the day, it's not just another opportunity to grow but a fantastic time to recognize how small i am and how blessed i am to have a gracious Savior right by my side patient enough to allow me to find my identity in Him alone. Just a thought."




So basically that was my Jesus time today and i felt like i needed to share because of previous posts. Yes "failing" has been such a huge struggle for me in this last school year but i feel more at peace and encouraged the more my perspective is on Christ. I know i have quite a ways to go but i needed to write down my progress :)