me time...

i have been here (WA) for about a week now. it's been pretty relaxing. i love that my grandparents house is nestled in a forest where there are dirt roads and tall green green trees. i am surprised at how cold i am here though...didn't i just come from chicago...windy and cold weather? anyway- this week has allowed for me to have a lot of me time. 

me time.

little did i expect the reaction i would receive when i stated those words to some friends. 

"that sounds selfish" was mainly the response i got from them. \

I in return.. was shocked. did i say something wrong? do they never get time alone? is this only a camp kid thing? how can i better translate it? I felt like even in my translation of what i meant by me time- i was still the weird girl who had to have her "me time". to be honest it was kind of frustrating. 

another term for me time is simply being alone. i think everyone: the quiet ones, the loud ones, the social butterflies, the energizers, the academics all need alone time. i know everyone has their own way of reenergizing but i really feel that getting in some alone time to do whatever (paint, horseback ride, write, listen to music, go for a walk) is so needed. 

i was blessed to grow up in a family that gave me the freedom in this area. my space was respected. my alone time to process, figure out life was never taken away from me. 

me time could in fact become a selfish thing, an excuse, a reason to avoid something. but at the heart of it. it's time to be alone, process, have the freedom to do something or nothing at all. it's time to reenergize, plan, have lightbulb moments. 

me time. everyone do it. it's not a bad thing. 

yea yea- my persister is strong in this subject. 

20 memories for 20 years...

My life has been overflowing with blessings since I was born. Not many people get to grow up in one of the most beautiful places on earth, Hume Lake, and have a family like mine. I am now 20 years old. That is two decades gone. Holy macaroni. So much life has happened. There are so many people who have shaped who I am. So many places that have taken pieces of my heart. So many memories that I don’t know what to do with. 

20 Memories for 20 Years

1. Hume SD. One of my favorite camps of all time. This was the first time to try something new with 3 amazing people. I remember a lot of ice cream, beach time, sunshine, rec games, being allergic to the hay on stage, lot of messing around. I look back and am so glad to have spent a week with them.

2. Kenya. 2009. Need I say more? This place stole a piece of my heart. This trip secured it in my heart that overseas ministry was where I was headed. To serve alongside my family and people dearest to me was something I would never pass up. Those three weeks molded me and the people I met are fresh on my mind regularly.

3. Disneyland. I couldn’t pick my favorite trip because I love Disney so much. I love that I grew up going to this place. My dad’s idea of “going to much to make us hate it” backfired on him and I am a forever a Disneyland lover. This picture is with my siblings and cousin during spring break a few years ago. We were enjoying our dole whips in the Tiki Room. For those of you who don’t know…I love tradition. And the picture captured it. The other picture is in my top 3 favorite trips: our first sibling only trip. No parents. We got to celebrate Juju’s 17^th birthday and everything went smoothly.

4. Senior year. Of all the years in high school, senior year was the best. It was the first year I had some good friends. Formal was was the perfect dance. That year I fully felt that Fresno was home.

5. RV trip. I so wish I could go back and relive the RV trip and soak in more memories because the trip was seriously the best. 6 weeks on the road going through most of the states in the US. So fun. Too bad it was my awkward clothing style season.

6. Hume sports. We were pretty limited in the sports we could play. Soccer. There were not many sports to do at Hume growing up. Soccer was one and it was the best. Soccer was the best place to be competitive, get tamales, and run around in the mountain air. This picture is of my neighbors- 13 years with them. Swim team. I loved swimming and I was one of the fastest so it felt good to be good at something. The picture was our “big” swim meet.

7. Baptism. 2011. What a marking moment in my life. It wasn’t until I was 18 when I fully decided it was time to trust Jesus. I combined my grad party with the baptism and it was so neat to see people from all seasons of life come to support me. Boy what a journey he took me on right after. But I am so thankful for that moment.

8. Summer after graduation. What a fun summer. These girls were by my side all of senior year. Amber (left) dedicated her life to the Lord that trip up to Hume (my childhood home) It is moments like this where you are in complete awe of God’s power. This was my first friend road trip and it fun to show my friends my home.

9. Sammy’s 16^th birthday. One of my favorite trips ever. We went to see Wicked (my favorite show) and to Disneyland. We ran into a pirate and I remember we broke into a fit of laughter when he said (with a straight face) “Say Rum”.

10. Redwood Christian Camp. This was my first camp outside of Hume. And it was AMAZING. I got to go to camp with my brother one year and it was super great. The picture was taken right after Jello/Oatmeal Wars. The best, stickiest camp game ever.

11. Michael Buble Concert. 2011. Two years ago I went to my first real concert. It was the BEST. I found someone who appreciated his heavenly voice as much I did. It was a phenomenal concert.

12. Wyoming Vacation. 2011. This trip was planned by my mom and I hated on her for it for so long. Only old people go to Wyoming. Boy was I wrong. This was one of my favorite Downs vacations by far. Horseback riding on a mountain. I still don’t like horses that much but it was amazing to be on the top of a mountain with my family.

13. Snack Shop 2010. One of my favorite summers ever. I had the BEST experience at Hume. It was my first summer as a summer staffer and I was blessed with the best co-workers. It was such a growing and refreshing summer of community, hard work, and pranks.

14. Jr. High Winter Camp. 2012. I was given the privilege to counsel my 7^th graders for the weekend. I had the best time ever. Had to learn a lot about discipline but made so many memories with these girls.  They made moving away so hard.

15. Road trip to College. Not many people get to say their grandparents took them across the county, 2,100 miles. I made so many memories and bonded with some of the most giving and hilarious people I know. This trip will be forever cherished.

16. Moody Bible Institute.  My journey with them has been such a rigorous, challenging, but special adventure for me. My first year was online and my second year in Chicago. I, a Californian moving to the Midwest…what did I think I was doing? Next year I will actually be  living in a neighborhood in the city. I have grown and been blessed so much because of this school. Thank Jesus I got into my dream school.

17. Life at Hume. I don’t remember much about that night but it was full of laughter. This picture means a lot to me. It captured the joy that Mandy has brought me over the years. It captured my innocent little self, unaware of the world around me. It showed that we could entertain ourselves for hours on end at Hume. I am so proud to be a Hume Kid.

18. My family. I am such a family person. I love my family to death. I CHOOSE to be with them every chance I get. But I have been blessed parents who have a heart to love others and because of that, we opened our house to many amazing girls. There are more people not pictured who I call extended family, (Bry, Kellie, Sarah, Pj & Sheri) maybe one day we will have one big family picture.

19. Paint wars/watermelon carving. 2011. This night was just one of many fun things we did that summer.

20. Wagon Train. 10 years old. 10 years ago. I became a Christian. Slinger (Rich Baker) presented the Gospel in such a way that made me want to have a personal relationship with the Lord. And my life has never been the same. 

sums me up...

In one of my classes we had the opportunity to take a personality test for extra credit. When I heard it was the Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test, my stubbornness set in. This was not the YUD (Your Unique Design) assessment I had become so accustomed to back home. There was no way I’d take that test. It would box me in, put me in a bubble, restrict me, and my persister would very much be in distress.

Well it turns out… I needed that extra credit, so I took the test, with as much cynicism as I could muster up. 

At the end of the day, the test was a good opportunity for me to be more aware of who I am, but that does not mean I agreed with everything. As my mom has told me, “Ask yourself if there is any truth in (the circumstance). If there is, take it and be teachable. If there isn’t take whatever truth there may be then move on.” She knows that I hold onto every comment directed towards me, whether its true or not, and I am learning to not be ruled by that.

So anyway…I wanted to share the results I got (btw I deleted the things I didn’t relate with/agree on which eased my persister distress). There is actually quite a bit of truth in this test and I feel like it explains who I am very clearly.

So for those who don’t know know me- here is a window into who I am. I don’t want to take the time to explain what the acronym ESFJ (which is what I got) stands for because the excerpt summarizes what it is. The ESFJ has the title of the “caregiver.”

 “The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability. They are warm and energetic. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about. They have a strong need to be in control. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. The selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.”

Tradition. Giving. Genuine. Control. Structure/stability. Honest/blunt. 

 If asked to describe myself: the words above would pretty much sum me up in a nutshell.