starbuxing it up...

So maybe i am supposed to be doing school right now. But thank you laptop- you make me look im being really productive when in reality...im not. I am listening to background music (you know that music where you feel like you are in a flowery meadow running or looking down from a window smiling at a loved one, like music that i wished would follow me everywhere and could "narrate" my life based on what happens in my day) Across from me is Marcus, he is reading his Bible and journaling (can you say attractive. yes.) There are some diverse people groups surrounding this table i am sitting at. Some catching up with life, some talking about nerdy stuff, and the rest...not quite sure. Oh the feeling of a coffee shop :) I feel tired (still getting over my sickness) but i feel good.

What was your favorite food when you were a child?
Peaches- YUM!!!!
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
Well i don't have an ipod at the moment but on itunes: Ships in the Night by Mat Kearney, weird that's not even my favorite song right now.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
Well im a sucker for cheesy love quotes but at the moment the one i like (non love like) would have to be. "You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."
What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Indoor: laying in my bed to be honest
Outdoor: water balloon fights
What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
The dishes. Oh how i hate my hands getting wet!!!
What is your favorite form of exercise?
It used to be running. I do miss swim. I'd have to say biking now.
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
Time: 8am
Day: Saturday
Month: December (Christmas SEASON!!!)
What sound do you love?
Rain. Lawn movers. Laughter. Fire Crackling.


Ok i guess ill get back to school now :)

simply answering questions...

I fell onto a website while i was stumbling (www.stumbleupon.com). There were a ton of "get to know you" questions and i felt the need to answer some. :) Back in jr. high it was always fun to send emails (back when Gmail was a huge deal) back and forth and answer questions like, "When did you wake up today?" or 'When was the last time you laughed." I miss those days of simplicity. I have some extra time today, so i want to just answer a few questions. I want to go back to being a jr. high girl just for a little bit here in this post and have a blast answering really random but awesome questions :)


What is your favorite type of art?

I have watched movies where the guy takes the girl on a cute date to an art gallery. They stand there mesmerized by abstract paint strokes. Then they look at each other and smile, just floating in a cloud. Sure the movies are great but to be honest....if i were to go into a gallery. ha. i just don't have appreciation for that art. Now lets say If i were in a movie, the guy would take the girl (me) for a nice walk downtown on an adventure to find amazing art. Graffiti. yes graffiti. oh how i wish that artwork could transfer onto a canvas. i love going on car trips and looking out the window as a train passes by. While my siblings count how many train cars there are, my eyes are captured on the spray paint so magically placed on the metal walls. Graffiti makes me want to be a hip hop dancer all the more....but that's just a side note. so my favorite type of art would have to be GRAFFITI.

Have you ever seen a broadway musical? Do you like theater?
In New York i got to see Phantom of the Opera and LOVED it. In Los Angeles, i got to see Wicked. AHHH loved it. I just love shows. Its a chance to sit and be immersed in a completely different world.

Do you like to sing?
Very much so.
Not in the shower. But in the rain.
Not on stage. But in the midst of an audience.

Singing is so relieving. It is the moment where speaking simply will not suffice. It is the only time i get to experience a taste of sounding poetic :)
I LOVE singing in the car. I LOVE singing while on a walk. I LOVE singing while im sitting on my bed looking out the window.

I am ok that i am not a fantastic singer- that im off key on pretty much every note. I am ok that i will never be able to sing and melt the hearts of those who hear my voice.

Do you like to dance?
Line dancing. Yes.
Ballroom dancing. Yes.
I am one of those people where i have to practice SO much in order to even look like i know what i am doing. I don't think people really understand how much multi-tasking goes into dancing.

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
I don't think i can mentally, emotionally, and physically answer this question. I have been SO loved and blessed by so many people. I think overall, any act of kindness, any moment of thoughtfulness, any surprising thing out of love-is something i hold dear to me and cherish so much. I can't name a favorite gift, but i can name people who have been such a gift to me.

If you were invisible for a month, what would you do?
If i did not love Jesus: i would see how many crimes i could get away with
But because i love Jesus...i would just prank people in so many funny ways :) oh to be invisible.

Which would you prefer as a second home: Mountain cabin, beach house or big city condo?
Mountain cabin- no hesitation there. I love the seclusion- a perfect way to rest, be simple, and enjoy life. I can just picture the smell of trees, dirt, just earth. I can picture sunshine shining through the trees, a river in the background. Me sitting on a porch drinking yummy drinks and reading. But i also see camping in tents. Late night walks. Early morning hikes. I see off roading in a jeep. I see home.

If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Annual Pass to Disneyland. I don't think people quite understand how much i love it.

What was stashed under your bed/mattress as a child?
My special rocks. Love notes. Craisins (i didn't want my mom to see that i took them to eat throughout the night). My sister's favorite toys. My purity ring.


What's your favorite flower?
I am not a rose type of girl. I love orange gerber daisies. I love wildflowers. I didn't think i was a flower type of girl but i think i am more than i let on.

dream days...

"ashlyn what would be a dream day of yours?"

1. Hang out at Disneyland with people who love it just as much as I do.


2. Serve in ministry with those I love.


3. Drive up to the mountains, go on a hike, and take a breath of fresh air.


4. Read, write, listen to music all day at a park.


5. Go on a surprise/spontaneous trip

winter cabin...

Soo its official. My perfect weekend away is going up to a cabin in the middle of nowhere…having no responsibilities, no time crunches, snow outside. Now add a boyfriend in…more perfect. But I can wait ☺

tattoo...

So ive made a decision. For my 19th birthday I want to get a tattoo.

Reasons:
I want to be “rebellious” (mom said it was ok….so my plan to be rebellious is defeated-but im still going to be “rebellious”)
I LOVE small tattoos…not ones that you can see at first glance but ones with a story. I wouldn’t want someone to be distracted by my tattoo if we were in a conversation.

I am only getting words. Now I am not promising to only get one tattoo throughout my life….but I do promise it will always have meaning and never be a picture.

I am still trying to decide what I want.

Some ideas:
Locations- wrist, inside arm, foot, upper neck
I am looking at doing a few words. I want it to be a conversational starter.
The tattoo will “sum up” in words a reminder of what I have struggled with, grown in, and how God has played an instrumental part in helping me overcome it.


So we will see…..

The cheesy things in life…

Something about me. I LOVE sweet quotes and sayings- the normal person would call them cheesy or ridiculous and they really are, but for some reason they just get me!

I am a pretty cheesy person myself so a hint….future boyfriend- Im not into chick flicks but there has to be cute lines in the movie. The predicted lines that make you go “they could have done better- this is cheesy” will be the lines I go “I wish I was in the movie” so I am not that girly romantic movie watcher but im a sucker for those simple words.

disneyland..its not a love..its an obsession

For those who know me well- beach boys, pineapple dole whips, tiki room, fast passes, fireworks- is my heaven. This would be, my dear friends, Disneyland. Want to win my heart- take me there. Want me to love you forever- take me there and do all my dland traditions with me!


Traditions:

I have, have to get a Pineapple dole whip and eat it while enjoying the tiki room show (the show is for 5yr olds but i just love it!)



Go on Splash Mountain at least 2 times


Go on the jungle cruise to hear the cheesy jokes (the girls are never funny)



-If I see Cruella DeVil take a picture (she scares me in the movie- but i LOVE talking to her in real life!)

-Watch the Aladdin Show

Vroom Vroom (car noise)

Some people go running or walking to process about things going on in their lives. Ok i admit that running in the rain leaves me feeling refreshed but i end up not resolving whatever is going on in my mind. Writing used to be my place to organize my thoughts and yes i still resort to that, but my number one place to think would be in the car. A 5min car ride to 5hrs or more of driving really lets me think and my mind wonder. I typically don't talk that much in the car, and if i do then i finish the convo as soon as possible and end up staring out the window to the fields, trees, cows, birds, roads, cars, bumper stickers, ugly billboards etc. My mind gets consumed by unresolved thoughts and i may end up cycling through the thought several times but i when i get out of the car i feel some sort of peace i can;t really describe. this is the time my creativity comes out! i just love car rides. so if i look mad or whatever cuz im not talking, don't be offended-im just thinking :)

I want to be a dolphin trainer...no wait a physical therepist...maybe a missionary??

So you know how every girl and boy wants to be a horse trainer, or singer, or actress? Well i wanted to train dolphins at Sea world for the longest time, until i found out how much school it would take, so i decided that giving people massages would be a fun job...ok no. i love giving them to people i know not some hairy backed men. if you ask "what about missions?" when did you start having a heart for that? i would probably answer...i"it just sorta happened." well looking through my drama filled jr. high diary (where i documented every single little detail in my life) i came across an entry that i think proves when that seed was planted. sure maybe i may have been born with this "passion" but i think it took some mission experiences to actually start to understand the feeling that kept getting every time i served (which was joy). May 30th, 2005- ...Right now i'm sitting in the car. oh what a weekend it has been. (Mexico Mission Trip)I've thought about it and i now want to be a missionary. I would love to serve... i love that i wrote this down...who would have thought that after many years i am trying to get into a school specifically focused on missions. aaaaa, it makes me happy :)

Are You Married?

Some people see it, some people don't. Whoever does see it though, always asks something along the lines of, "Are you married?" My answer i give is a: no, but if asked "why then" i explain my reasoning. True, I have a ring on my ring figure, also know as the marriage finger. What is an unmarried, 17yr old with a ring on her wedding finger? This is my 4th year answering just that. Do i wear it to scare away people? (no, boys still talk to me :D ) Is it for attention? (no, i would have gotten a big fatto diamond ring if i wanted to be in the spotlight) Am i wearing it to make myself stand out? (yes.but let me explain that) My ring is just a possession-one of my more cherished possessions. It may not last forever or i could lose it. I cherished it because of the meaning behind the only piece of jewelery i wear. The ring is symbolic reminder of the promise i made.

SO what promise exactly did i make when i was 13? My whole life I grew up hearing, "Don't kiss boys." So i didn't kiss boys. It was as simple as that. (oh and the fact that there were little to no boys at hume i grew up with). When i was about 12yrs old, i had no guidelines set for relationships, but i was starting to find boys interesting, so i started watching. After hearing my moms testimony and several summer staffers (at hume lake)share their perspectives on relationships and such, i decided for myself that i needed to set boundaries and standards.

I love touch! Hugs, back rubs, really anything. With that though, i knew i needed to set down rules for myself so that i would not sin or place any other person in a situation that could have been prevented. I started making small standards like i would not let any boy give me a back rub until we were engaged. But even with that, i would still have to be cautious about it because one thing easily leads to the next real fast. Any "walls" people may see are set up for myself. I'm not one of those people that have walls built up because of past experiences. No, i watched others make those mistakes and so i took one step ahead and made boundaries so that i would never have to be in that "no-trusting" world.

I do not really enjoy watching chick-flicks. Sure there are a few i think are cute and like to watch on a rainy day or when hanging out with friends, but they give, what i think, to be one of the worst interpretations about relationships that implant many little lies in my and other peoples' heads. Everything is so physical and it always seems to be the center of any Hollywood movie relationships. I yearn for building deep friendships, with girls and guys. That of course takes time and i am totally fine by that. It seems that since the world has taken off a million miles per hour so has the development of dating and marriage. My hope is that any guy i date would be someone i could see myself marrying. And even before we started dating i would be friends only. When you get to know someone on a friend level then the rest seems to go smoothly. I have seen when people skip that step, personalities are placed second and the physical desires are placed on top. I am sure it works out for some couples, but personally for me, i know it wouldn't for any relationship i was in. I want to have that Godly relationship and be Biblically centered the whole time.

I chose to save my first kiss for my husband and save that kiss till the day of the wedding. Ashlyn why would you do something so un-normal and goodie-too-shoe-like? Well my friends, two reasons. 1) When i am dating someone (whether it is my future husband or not) i want to respect him, so that if it doesn't work out, i can say happily that i did not take a part of him from his future wife. Now if everything did work out, then that kiss will be so much better. How so? Ok i have been told, seen the looks couples give when in love, and read all about it that kissing is fun and feels good. So if i know that, i can just wait. If i am marrying that guy, i get him to myself for the rest of my life and can kiss him as much as possible. I figure that if we fall in love with of course Christ being the center, then that physical part is going to be the best bonus there is. 2) I am a pretty normal human being...what is something that sets me apart from others and may appear the impossible but that i have faith i can do cuz others have before me? Not kissing. I have seen others before me do it so why can't i? People don't get this but when they say comments like "I don't think you can do that." or "That's lame." it makes me more motivated to prove you guys wrong. Yes i can be competitive and i will win. So there. haha. Also i have seen that after people find out, make fun, and give me a funny look, they all seem to treat me with a little more respect than before. Sure they may always think "Ashlyn is weird", but i hope they see that i make these "crazy" promises for myself, my future boyfriend(s), my future husband, and to God (meaning i will strive to live for Him, but of course i will sin, im human, its a goal that i plan to keep. so maybe i am not making a promise to God but more to the non-hypocritical Christian life i lead.

As a side note: My ring has 2 mini diamonds on both sides of the blue one. The four diamonds represent my relationship with God, my parents, and my future husband. The blue stone is because i like blue and it represents purity. My name partially means waterfall. It was an Ashlyn Ring.

To sum things up: I am wearing a ring (aka purity ring) as a symbol for my promise to save my first kiss and set rules for the physical part of
relationships.

Love Is a Bag of Marshmallows

What is LOVE? When living at Hume, i could easily give the definition answer,to put it in a sentence and even give an example. I grew up to love surrounding me head to toe, hill to hill. Moving down to Fresno, though, opened up a whole new Love dictionary. Love was not a feeling anymore (i thought it was that). I was taught in church, love was an action and not based on emotion...oh whatever. But over these last few years, I have seen love shown and not shown in many ways. Love is doing the dishes at a friends house and not even caring if they ever find out. Love is a backrub from my mom. Love is Home Depot paint sample strips with a letter written so sweetly on each of them. Love is that random Jamba I get from a friend who is in more pain than me. Love is spending hours to clean up a neighborhood. Love is a Facebook video just to say hello. Love is passing soda lids back in forth in funny ways to show appriciation. Love is the special goodnight my Daddy gives me. Love is underwear stuffed under my sisters pillow. Love is video chats while being in the same room. Love is waking up early to read the Bible. Love is a message on the bathroom mirror. Love is PEZ. Love is writing letters. Love is messing up a cookie recipe and laughing about it. Love is a dance class. Love is a Secret Sister. Love is buying dinner. Love is showing grace to the broken. Love is a bag of marshmallows and one senior who went out of the way to see if I was ok. Love is a hug. Love is the Kiss on the head. Love is the note in the suitcase while on a trip away from home. Love is Kenya. Love is my sister's passion with Special Needs kids. Love is my brother's smile. Love is the painting on my wall. Love is inside jokes. Love is a note on my car window. Love is calling me Ash. Love is the journal my mom and i have passed back and forth for years. Love is The Well Community Church. Love is patience. Love is the constant compliments from someone who truly cares. Love is found in soooo many areas of my life and have been demonstated by so many. Because of them, i srive to continue to love others and carry out such a sacred and undeserved gift :)

It's The Note That Counts

I am excited for my funeral!! I know weird to say, but hopefully my death will be a celebration with lots of balloons and marshmallows and Mexican food with ketchup and jamba and whatever else i love :) Also i so hope and pray everyone i came into contact with in my life, will see how much i truly loved my Savior and strived earnestly to share His love.

My LIFE goal is to write a note to every person I meet. well, if i met a celebrity at some point in my life, then sorry i wont write a fan letter-but ill pray for you! haha. How about i define the word "meet"- it could be someone i met at youth group or a friend of a friend that needed encouragement, co-workers, students at school, or to my dear dear friends and family. so of course i most likely won't write to a stranger. I hope i am able to share my love to everyone (which is impossible cause im human, but i will try to get as close as i can, and not turn down an opportunity). I will never end up knowing if I reached my goal or not but i know i will be happily hanging out with God.

Here is a funeral request...I want every person that comes to bring any note or letter i wrote them and if any person did not receive any letters from me (which is sad but probably going to be the case for some people) bring in mind a funny story. Why bring letters? to read them? ok maybe...remember i wont be there haha, but i want this to possibly prove that taking some time to write notes is well worth it.

I love people through my letters. Iam not the most grammatically correct writer and probably could simplify many sentences, but i write from my heart and hopefully people can see how much i really care. Receiving a note shows thoughtfulness. Someone who takes even one minute to jot a quick note down has no idea the encouragement it may have. Sure some people could care less by a letter and toss it in the trash, but there are many out there looking for a random act of kindness society seems to view as so "alien-like". (Just like Rachel Scott) This goal of mine will take my whole life and i know i am not perfect, so i may miss a few people, so to those that i meet and never write to, i apologize. Maybe this funeral request is highly unlikely...i mean letters get lost, thrown away, used as scratch paper, but in the end my hope is that, that note lifted them up in some form or another.

Maybe i want the letters that are kept, to be present at my funeral to prove something...but what? At the moment i have no like, official thought. Maybe I want to encourage others to write letters and show a simple thing can impact very many people in small or big ways. Maybe it's to show people writing notes is a passion of mine and i kept at it till i went to be with Jesus. You know...maybe i really care right now, because i am alive...but all in all, i want to leave behind my love to love others here and prove small things work in big ways. When i am dead i am sure i wont care at all where any letters i wrote end up, they are only pieces of paper, not eternal.

Well i will work at this life goal of mine, no matter the affect it may or may not have on others and after rereading all i wrote i may not even care now about my funeral...i just never really wrote about that topic so i figured i would write and through that, explore more of what i loved and wanted and such. hmmm... :)